Being a Better Listener

Many business people have trained themselves to receive and process very high loads of information very quickly - it's almost a survival skill in the early days of business when you might have to do everything yourself!

There is also evidence (email me for a copy) that people who are made to think quickly report feeling happier, more energetic, more creative, more powerful, and more self-assured.

Strangely, that fast information processing skill can become an issue when you come to communicate with staff, family and others. As the gap information processing speed grows, so problems appear. Some fast thinkers find it almost painful to slow down to the speed at which others talk and process, and they can become impatient and/or appear disinterested, bored or distracted in the most inappropriate circumstances such as staff meetings, dinner conversation, or even a client or sales interview.

Diagnosing Yourself
If you find yourself being easily distracted when others are talking; or developing the habit of doing other things while people are talking with you (because you have spare bandwidth and can follow what they are saying and complete another task); or of losing the train of thought in another's presentation, then the following tip may be for you.

Simple Solution
If the root of the problem is that you need a higher flow of information than is being delivered by your audience or other party, then broaden your focus to take in a much wider bandwidth of information than just the spoken words.

After all, words form only about 7% of our communications, with the other 93% being provided at the level of voice and body language. So, broaden your attention beyond words, and start interpreting voice tone, pitch, pace and timbre, and the whole spectrum of body language from posture and gestures to facial expression, skin tone, eye movements and breathing pace and location.

Once you start to develop some facility at this you will be amazed at how easy it is not only to "stay in the moment" with your audience, but also to acquire a much deeper understanding of what is being communicated at every level in that moment.

The bonus is that your audience will quickly sense your engagement with and focus on them, rapport is likely to deepen, and the confidence that engenders is likely to see them speed their delivery quite naturally. Then everyone is happy.

Test this in an aware way at your next opportunity. If it works for you, develop it as a habit.

Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech. ... Edwin H. Friedman

If you would like more business tips, or would like more information about TA Fastrack's business coaching, business training and marketing services, call 07 3040 3588 or email us directly on email@tafastrack.com.au.